9YO Son reverting to a 2YO!
I always find dealing with my eldest child a challenge - he's the first one to experience each stage of life - and the one who was affected the most by the separation 6 years ago, and who also appears, on the surface, to be most similar to his dad.
The last few days have presented a new challenge and one I wasn't expecting. At the slightest frustration, he's been bursting into floods of tears and really crying like a 2 year old again. I would have been much more prepared for this if he was a girl and approaching "That Age", but he's always been pretty calm and responsible, and at 9, I would be really, really surprised if it was hormones kicking in for him!
Today's episodes started by not getting the remote control for the radio in the car, and the second, 3 hours later, because 7YO brother wanted to read the same catalogue at the same time. It starts with the sharp intake of breath, then the wobbly bottom lip, breathe out, whimper, whimper then wail - accompanied with water works, stomping and hiding - a great example for both younger brothers!
So.............. left it for a couple of days as the outbursts have been relatively short lived and I know that he normally opens up if something's bothering him but now I'm worrying about him behaving like this at school, so time to find a different approach. I made sure from the outset that he hasn't any problems at school, as he has experienced bullying from a lad in his class, but this seems to have stopped since the start of term.
Discussion with OH about it then trip upstairs to the bedroom for "A Chat"..............
So "Why are you getting so upset, what's bothering you?"
Definitely not a bullying problem as the normal culprit and 9YO are currently friends (Don't you love kids' friendships!).
Asked if he has a problem with anything to do with BB, and immediate disdain that I should even think that (As if the BB could do anything wrong in Big Brother's doting eyes!) - but from my point of view, concerned that he was now feeling pushed out as BB grows more of a personality.
Next attempt was, are there any concerns with BD (Biological Dad - always very polite and neutral about him, anywhere near his boys, EX - Evil Ex, and worse, away from them!). 9YO started crying and saying that "Dad is going to go to court to make us live with him and I don't want to and it makes me cross".
Well - here we go again. I often find it absolutely incredible that anyone would mess with their kids' heads like this, but then I remind myself that he did such a good job on me. 9YO is such a sensitive thing and so wants to please everyone. He really loves his dad, which is the reason why I've ensured they've maintained excellent contact, but 9YO won't stand up to anyone, hence why I'm so careful not to put words in his mouth.
Spent quite a while talking through why no court in the land would force the boys to live with him as he has a history of smacking them and foul language beyond belief. Also, asked him to think how he would react to someone crying and behaving like he has been.
Anyway, only time will tell if any of this has worked!
I'm sure there will be plenty more opportunities in the Blogging future to catch you up with EE details and problems which have followed!
Enough for tonight - bring on tomorrow's challenges!
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